Wisdom from the Trenches

At the beginning of November, I begin to see thankful posts. I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade because I actually think this is a lovely tradition but it saddens me when it’s merely seasonal. This is the season where it is trendy to elevate what we are grateful for by putting words and pictures to our thankfulness, but I would add that now, more than ever before, is a time to consider extending that annual gratitude habit to a lifelong practice. Now is a great time to reconsider dabbling in gratitude and begin walking in gratitude.

I’m not great at science, but I’ve heard it’s possible to reprogram your brain operations from a negative to a primarily positive mindset simply by living a life that intentionally sees, hears, acknowledges, and practices good. We can apparently regrow synapses in our brain by embracing positivity and choosing not to immerse ourselves in things beyond our control that distress us. Because even in the midst of the most difficult life circumstances, in the poorest parts of the world, there are gorgeous sunsets, insects that sing beautiful melodies, flowers that bloom in vibrant colors. These things will not fix life’s struggles, but these things also won’t drag you down into the depths of despair by making the world an entirely dark place, void of joy, hope, or beauty.

I’m not encouraging you to ignore the fact that someone in your life is super toxic or you are up to your eyeballs in debt and about to go bankrupt. That’s avoidant and that’s not healthy. I think what science is saying is deal with your difficult issues but don’t add to your problems by watching news programs about human trafficking and genocide and hurricanes as the majority of your media consumption. Science is saying it’s ok to take off your blinders and be realistic about your challenges, but don’t stare solely into the dark abyss when there is an entire gorgeous universe surrounding us. Science is saying BALANCE is the KEY to proper mental health.

King David in the Bible went through some pretty dire situations – some where he was a victim and some of his own creation due to poor choices. His prayers to God interest me. Every time, he states his circumstances outright. He doesn’t gloss over what is happening, he doesn’t withhold his true feelings about what is transpiring, he doesn’t live blind. But he so often ends his prayers by refocusing on good and stating what is true, beautiful, and right about God, about the world, about his life. He walked his life in gratitude.

It is around this idea of walking in gratitude that I have centered my current life. I have said before that I have seen enough of hell to know I don’t want to live there. So when the world seems dark and depressing and everything seems to be closing in on me, I take a walk and soak in the beauty of nature. When COVID was bearing down on us all and my job was stressing me out, I woke myself up one night to lay outside and watch a meteor shower. If I’m having issues with a toxic person, I think of the countless people who know the truth about me and actually like me for who I am. If I receive a rejection, I journal about specific positive qualities I possess. I do not deny I am in a difficult situation, but I don’t wallow in it. I search for what is true, noble, right, pure, lovely, admirable, excellent or praiseworthy (Philippians 4:8).

Perhaps part of why walking in gratitude is successful for me is that I don’t focus in on material possessions. What I own can easily be lost, stolen, or break down, which would alter my mood with every change in status. If I based my happiness on things such as these, my life would be an emotional rollercoaster!

My possessions could also make me prone to comparison, leading me to believe I am better than others when I am not or that I’m failing at life when I am quite successful, but on a different trajectory. Comparison kills contentment. I found it is better to base contentment on gratitude for simple things that are available to all; and it is easier to be grateful for all the good that exists in life if I spend my day searching for it. I look for funny moments, the blue sky, kindness that helps another, pleasant aromas, the satisfaction of completing a task, laughter shared with friends, the joyful tail wag of my dog, a breakthrough moment, a ladybug, my health, memories that have not yet faded. Each of our lives are blessed in some capacity by things that can be equally appreciated by all for the beauty and joy they bring to our collective lives. Our ability to see and openly acknowledge the good that naturally surrounds us is what determines whether or not we are actually walking a life of gratitude.

As November closes, consider if the gratitude in your heart is truly sustainable, if it is based on transient items or ever present good, and whether or not it is competitive with others’. As December opens its doors to us, I encourage all of us to make it a habit to intentionally walk in true gratitude on a daily basis. Search for good, appreciate good, and be the good we want to see in this world…every day of the year, for every year that we are blessed to live.